to feel

To feel this useless. To know that everything would change if I didn't feel so negative. To know the answer and not the question. To let go of the important because the small and insignificant truth is intimidating you already. To cry in silence and to hide the screams of the sorrows that torture your soul. To aim and lose. To love and hate. To speak. To talk. To hear. To listen. To put the table for lunch and cook dinner for a husband coming back from work. From the war. From the distant hidden dark. To control. To control yourself. To control your situation. To shape others' situations. To lose them. To miss them. To forgive them. To forget them. To forgive me and you. To apologize. To regret. To remember. To silence the crying in the lost darkness of a wandering soul. To you and me. To the I that matters. To the I that feels. To the I that goes. To the I that does not. To the time that has passed and that will not come back. To the regrets we feel together. To the regrets I have of you and the ones You of I. To love and to cry for it is not true that love is understandable but surely should be enjoyable. To the love that hurts and does not let happiness exist in my life.